So this weekend our church had a women’s conference. The theme was AWAKEN and boy was it so timely. I needed to be awaken to what God has called me to, which is writing and I honestly haven’t done much of that since my mom passed a few months ago. While I was think about this today I was reminded of a time when my kids were little and we had gone to the beach.
Photo by Clem Onojeghuo on Unsplash
My two oldest were still little and A hadn’t come along yet. In fact I think I was pregnant with her at the time. Anyway, I remember they wanted to run down to the water and we gave them permission and they went on a full run and we were walking a short distance behind. What happened next nobody foresaw. As they were running eyes on the water my son D fell into a hole someone had dug in the sand. He never even saw it because he was so focused on the goal of getting to the water. He wasn’t looking down his head was high and he was staring straight ahead. Well I did what all of you would do. I went and picked him up, dusted off all that sand and told him he was okay. Then I sent him to run to the water. You know what, that is exactly what he did and he didn’t look back to the hole because his focus was the water and what was ahead.
As I thought of this experience, I feel like that is exactly how I have felt over the past few months. I feel like I have fallen into a hole that I never saw coming. Honestly I had hoped, prayed and anticipated that my mom would be healed. Even when she told me she was tired of fighting I still wanted to fight for her. Needless to say I have had times over the past few months questioning my own faith and the power in His name. However this past week the Lord reminded me that my mom was tired and didn’t want to fight anymore. For those that don’t realize I fought and prayed to the last hours. I never gave up until I was asked to by family and I was mad when they asked me to let her go. Actually mad puts it lightly, I was pissed. I didn’t want to let her go. She was my mom. She was the one person that knew my inner desires. She knew me for who I was and loved me regardless of my faults.
Recently I feel like God has been picking me up out of my hole and dusting me off. He is showing me that I need to keep my eye on Him and not look back at the hole. I need to move on. I need to keep my focus on what is important. I’ve been reading scripture on healing and I know that God heals. I still don’t understand why He didn’t heal my mom, but I trust in His word. I will not doubt His word that says His desire is to give us good health.
“Beloved, I pray that you may prosper in all things and be in health, just as your soul prospers.” 3 John 1:2
I’m also reminded today of what Jesus spoke to his disciples when sending them out. Jesus sent his disciples to preach that the kingdom of heaven was at hand. They were to heal the sick, cleanse the lepers, raise the dead, cast out demons. However, he told them when they were not received to shake off the dust from their feet when they departed. (Matt 10:5-15; Mark 6:7-13; Luke 9:1-6)
I feel I was surrounded by some during this time that thought I was crazy to think God could do these miracles. I’m sure some of you reading this may be in that camp as well. Similarly Jesus had this happen to him also when he went to his hometown. He couldn’t do any mighty work in his hometown because of their unbelief. (Mark 6:1-6) Unbelief is defined as faithlessness, i.e. (negatively) disbelief (lack of Christian faith), or (positively) unfaithfulness (disobedience):—unbelief. (Strongs definition). Jesus couldn’t do mighty works around those that had unbelief. I too believe when He sent out His disciples He wanted them to be aware of this unbelief as well.
Photo by Kunj Parekh on Unsplash
So today I am dusting myself off from others unbelief. I know too that my mom was tired but I will continue to stand on His word. I will not be tossed too and fro anymore, I will no longer listen to the voice of man or this world that may think I’m crazy. I will trust in His word as the final say for all things. He is my Savior and He will never leave me nor forsake me. I will keep my eyes focused on Him.
What about you? Are you in a hole needing to be lifted out? Maybe you have experienced something similar to what I just shared. I want to encourage you to pray and get in His presence. He wants to lift you up and dust you off. He wants to send you as He sent His disciples to preach the kingdom of heaven is at hand. He is sending you to heal the sick, raise the dead, cast out demons. His word says that signs WILL follow those that believe. (Mark 16:17-18) I encourage you to read this for yourself and ask are you seeing what Jesus spoke. I’m ready. Are you????